Welcome!
All of us at Beth Haverim Shir Shalom feel that caring for our students and their families as we facilitate their journey toward celebrating b’nei mitzvah is our sacred obligation. Our rabbi, director of education, and office staff work in concert so that when your child leads their congregation in prayer on Shabbat morning, they are confident in their abilities and that you, their families, are prepared as well. Our students will lead many facets of the service, both in Hebrew and in English, at their level, as no two students are the same and we help them get ready with that in mind. This includes chanting Torah from one of our scrolls, prayers and blessings before and after Torah and Haftarah, the morning blessings, the Sh’ma, the Kiddush on the preceding Friday night, and other opportunities to lead based on what they have learned during their religious school years and their months of practice leading up to the day.
On this page you will find all the information you will need about becoming a bar or bat mitzvah at Beth Haverim Shir Shalom. Please scroll down to read all the topics and find links to all the forms you need.
B’nei Mitzvah”quick help” for students and parents
Does your family have questions about how to fill out your honors forms? Do parents want some help practicing YOUR Torah blessings or advice on writing your parent blessing? Does the Bar/Bat Mitzvah need a quick assist with a particularly challenging part of their Torah and/or Haftarah chanting? Call or email [email protected] to schedule an appointment with our director of education, Rebecca McVeigh.
Oneg Hosting
Hosting an Oneg Shabbat for a bar or bat mitzvah can seem like an overwhelming experience in addition to all the other responsibilities you have. It can be very simple if you have the information at your fingertips.
The synagogue, for a fee of $350.00, will provide the basic Friday night Oneg Shabbat and the basic Saturday morning Kiddush items (challah and grape juice). The Oneg Shabbat will include various cookies, cakes, danishes, and other sweet treats. Also provided are coffee and tea, and a variety of cold drinks. If you have any special requests, please notify the office at 201-512-1983. Your Oneg will be set up for you. All you have to do is walk in and enjoy the service!
Our office will call to discuss with you the number of guests you may have for your Oneg and basic Kiddush at least 30 days prior to your bat/bat mitzvah date. Additional arrangements, such as Shabbat dinner, Saturday morning pre-service breakfast, extended Kiddush, or full-service bar/bat mitzvah reception, must be made between the family and a member of the Beth Haverim Shir Shalom panel of caterers. The office, however, must be notified of your plans prior to signing a catering contract. Room reservations are made on a first-come, first-served basis and must be reserved prior to finalizing plans with the caterer. **Only caterers on the panel can be used for your events. Please call the temple office if you need kosher/glatt kosher catering.
Additional Options
(The following refer to only items not included in your $350.00 basic Oneg fee, should you wish to do more than the basic Saturday morning Kiddush.)
Families can choose to have a Shabbat dinner, extended Kiddush, or a full-service bar/bat mitzvah party in our social hall. The social hall must be reserved through the office. We suggest these reservations be made as soon as you decide on a venue for your event. This will prevent any conflicts, since the numbers necessitate more double Bar/Bat Mitzvah services in the future. Reservations are on a first-to-deposit basis. The office will give you a contract for the room reservation. The cost of using the room for the above is listed below. The rental fees include clean-up by our maintenance contractor. Additionally, a $250.00 security deposit is required for all catered events.
Social Hall
Extended Kiddush – $750.00
Sit-Down Luncheon – $1000.00
Bar/Bat Mitzvah Party – $1000.00
Beth Haverim Shir Shalom’s Panel of Caterers
A five (5) member panel of caterers has been selected. These caterers provide a variety of services within a range that allows you to have the type of event you desire. All of the caterers are knowledgeable about our kashrut rules. Please be aware that the fees and/or per-person charge are negotiated between you and the caterer.
Kashrut Rules: The following resolution was adopted by the synagogue Board and applies to all catering inside and on the synagogue grounds as of July 1, 2000:
“It shall be the policy of Beth Haverim Shir Shalom that all food served on synagogue grounds and premises shall be in accordance with biblical principles of kashrut. This means that no prohibited foods may be served, and that milk and meat will not be served at the same meal.”
The five (5) member panel:
Buono Bagels
Ramsey Gourmet (Bagel Boys)
The Market Basket
Rosebud Caterers
Encore Catering
Flowers/Food Baskets
Floral arrangements or bimah baskets for the synagogue should be ordered and delivered by Friday morning. One arrangement is placed in front of the right-hand lectern, and a second one is placed in front of the left-hand lectern. As an alternative to flowers, the synagogue can assemble a variety of baskets to place on the bimah on your special day. The contents of the baskets will be donated to the Center for Food Action in Mahwah, Jewish Family Services of Rockland, the Ramapo-Bergen Animal Refuge in Oakland, or the Emmanuel Cancer Foundation.
Basket Sizes and Costs
Large bimah basket: $125.00
Video Services
Beth Haverim Shir Shalom is very excited to now have available to our b’nai mitzvah families the option of having their child’s bar/bat mitzvah service live-streamed with archive accessibility and additional archive additions on their big day with many packages to choose from.
In May 2019 we upgraded our equipment and now have an HD camera installed that will capture the very essence of this important occasion remotely. Having this camera installed enables us to eliminate the presence of the actual equipment and lights that have often been intrusive to the rabbi and cantor during the service. The company we are working with is “Black Lab Imaging” who also live streams for us each Friday evening during Shabbat services and been in business for many years and has come to us with a great many recommendations.
Please note that, although this service is completely optional, you may use our streaming/video service only, rather than hiring your own company to record the service in our sanctuary on that day. No other video recording (using any device) or still photography is permitted during the service.
For more information, please contact the temple office at 201-512-1983.
Streaming Service Fees:
$249-Basic Streaming Service (fixed angle)
$499-Deluxe Streaming Service (professionally monitored/video panning)
Archive additional options:
$129-Standard DVD (extra copies $70)
$139-HD BluRay (extra copies $80)
$119-HD Thumb Drive (extra copies $80)
We hope that the stream/video of your child’s service will be a treasured memory for many years to come.
In Closing
We hope the information on this page answers the most relevant questions regarding the Oneg Shabbat prior to and the catering options on the day of your child’s bar/bat mitzvah. We wish you and your family a hearty Mazel Tov at this wonderful time.
Forms and Other Resources
- Proper attire for those being called to the bimah at Beth Haverim Shir Shalom: Please click here for guidelines
- Call the office for a copy of the “Guide to becoming a Bar or Bat Mitzvah” parent handbook
- Download printable directions that you can use for your invitations. There can be printed on a color or black and white printer. They should be cut in half, and then folded if you like.
- Prayer and Blessing Practice for students: contact Rebecca McVeigh for recordings.
- Torah Blessings: If you are to have the honor of chanting or saying the blessings before and after the Torah reading, you can find a transliteration (as well as the Hebrew) by clicking here: Torah Blessings
- Click to listen to the blessings before and after the reading of the Torah.
- Honors Sheets – form to be filled out and printed or filled out, saved as a Word file, and emailed to [email protected]. – call the office to have them emailed or printed for you to pick up
- If you have the honor of hagbah, or lifting the Torah scroll, click here for a video how-to demonstration.