Ken Goldstein:

A mother comes into the kitchen in the morning and sees her 8 year-old son on the floor along with a box of cheerios, a quart of milk, chocolate syrup and marshmallows. She yells at son for making a mess, cleans him up and tells him to go to his room. She cleans up the mess and later that morning goes to see what her son is doing. As she passes the bathroom she sees him about to flush a towel down the toilet. She stops him just in time and tells him to go outside and play. Later that day she goes outside and sees that her son was writing with crayons allover the side of the house. She brings him inside, sits him down and says “why are you being so bad? What does it take for you to be good?” Her son replies, “I’ll be good if you buy me a new computer. I’ll be good if you buy me my favorite toys. I’ll be good if you give me the snacks I love.” His mother looks at him and says “Why can’t you be like your father…he’s good…for nothing!”

Last year I spoke about social action during the High Holy days and in particular I mentioned our annual visit every Christmas morning to Wanaque Convalescent Center. Many of the kids in this facility will never leave there. They are confined to wheelchairs, attached to breathing tubes…and some are unable to leave their beds. Many are non-responsive…but they all look forward to our visits and they do respond to a loving touch and a warm smile. This year, we decided to have a mid-year visit and last June we arranged a “Michelle Mitzvah Olympics” with races, games and medals were awarded to all the kids. In addition, the adult choir led by Canter Perper spent over three hours visiting every floor and bringing smiles to the patients and staff with music and song.  Cantor Perper and all the volunteers that day…didn’t get paid…nor did they get any publicity in the local papers or on TV. You might say they were…Good for Nothing. . And that is the message for all of us as we contemplate our lives during these Days of Awe. My hope is that we all be “good for nothing” during this coming year. At Beth Haverim Shir Shalom there are many ways to get involved. Each committee at the synagogue is involved in social action. Can you commit to participating in at least one “mitzvah” this year? Come to Wanaque this Christmas or our next visit to Blythedale Children’s Hospital in November. Help serve food or stay overnight at the homeless shelter in Englewood or in Oakland. Give blood. Give your time in helping students at Eastside High School in Paterson go to college. Give food during the High Holy Days…and throughout the year as well. The Center for Food Action works year round to help people in our community who have fallen on hard times. Or what about you and your family having a fundraiser to purchase gift cards for children with cancer and their families at the Tomorrow Children’s Fund at Hackensack Hospital.  Join the Michelle Mitzvah Group, or the Caring Committee, or adult education or the music committee or Brotherhood or Sisterhood or any of our other committees at Beth Haverim Shir Shalom. Each month Temple Topics has all the information you need about upcoming events. If you want to speak with someone, contact any of the committee chairs or any trustee on the board. Join a committee…participate in a social action event…and…be good for nothing this coming year.

I have somewhat of a confession to make…I read the obituaries in the New York Times every day. I’ve thought a lot about why I go through this morning ritual and I came up with three reasons. The first reason is just the joy in discovering the amazing things that people have accomplished during their lives and how they overcame hardships in order to follow their dreams. I learn about all sorts of people from inventors to politicians to military leaders to philanthropists to actors and religious leaders. Their lives are just fascinating to read about.

A second reason is the quality of the writing. An obituary writer must capture the essence of that person in a relatively short piece. A book was actually written about these writers. It is called The Dead Beat: Lost Souls, Lucky Stiffs and the Perverse Pleasures of Obituaries. One example of the kind of writing I’m talking about is this brief, yet succinct, obituary from the book:

Selma Koch, a Manhattan store owner who earned a national reputation by helping women find the right bra size, mostly through a discerning glance and never with a tape measure, died Thursday at Mount Sinai Medical Center. She was 95 and a 34B.

The final reason has to do with my own mortality. Simply stated…I’m now at that age when I wonder what my own obituary will say? While I know there are probably a few people here tonight who will have their picture in the Times along with a major article about their life I believe my obituary will be somewhat more modest. There is a section in the Times that lists the names of the “regular” obituaries and there are usually only a few lines for each name. While I always make sure to read the “major” obituaries, I also will glance at some of those other names  and if a name hits me for some reason I’ll read the brief obituary to get a sense of that person’s life. A few months ago I read the name “Marvin Cantor.”  Now I didn’t know Marvin Cantor and I frankly don’t even know why I decided to read about him but I’m glad I did. Here is what his brief obituary said:

He led a productive life and will long be remembered by family and friends for his unfailing optimism, warm humor, and concern for others.

“…unfailing optimism, warm humor, and concern for others.” What more would I want my own obituary to say? Maybe I can think of only one more thing…I hope it might say…He was good for nothing!

In the coming year, I hope you will get involved in social action at Beth Haverim Shir Shalom and be…good for nothing.

Shana Tova